More and more we are being made aware of the presence of bullying and its negative effects on the victims, as well as (some would argue) on the bully. Schools are hosting information sessions for students and parents, while constant coverage in the media brings the prevalence of the problem to the forefront of our minds.
As a father of three young children, bullying is an issue I take seriously. I hope my children are never victimized by it, never take part in it, and will willingly repudiate the behaviour should they ever bear witness to it. Unfortunately, bullying does not stop after high school. What happens when these antagonizers grow up?
Various forms of bullying take place in the workplace more than most people know. Not to be mistaken with tough management styles, workplace bullying is defined by persistent abuse in the forms of rumours, unjustified criticism, social isolation, verbal or physical aggression, over-monitoring of work, sabotage, etc. These types of behaviours are completely destructive in a work environment as they lead to poor morale, decline in performance, depression, absenteeism, anxiety, exhaustion, poor concentration, to name but a few.
Contrary to popular assumption, bullies target those they perceive as a threat, not those who appear timid or weak. Victims are most often successful, efficient and well-liked by colleagues. The bully therefore attacks to cover up personal incompetence and insecurities, or in an attempt to gain control of a group or project.
Even then, bullying is not only reserved for the workplace or the schoolyard. I have witnessed bully-victim relationships between clients who cannot agree on the house to purchase. Not surprisingly, I have also been on the receiving end of a bully’s antics. Usually this happens when clients feel a loss of control in such a large and important transaction.
If you are being victimized, assume a stance of confidence. Despite your feelings of intimidation, appearing confident can help to deflect the harassment. It is essential to address the problem! Do not ignore the bullying and hope that it will stop on its own. Instead, document all incidents, and try to get a co-worker or a friend to witness the abuse.
As a witness, it is important to stand by the victims. Often when a superior is bullying a subordinate, his or her goal is to divide and conquer. By sticking together, you discourage the aggression and prove that it will not be tolerated. Remember that, while this specific bully-victim relationship may not directly affect you at the present moment, eventually it will permeate the work environment and thereby impact you too.
Luckily, more organizations are taking action when it comes to preventing and addressing bullying in the workplace; either by virtue of stress management programs for staff, training programs for management, while awareness campaigns are taking priority in corporate strategic plans.
Nobody should have to suffer at school or in the workplace. By taking a zero tolerance approach to bullying and banding together to address the root cause of these behaviours, we can ensure that every person enjoys the right to learn and work in a prosperous environment.
As we enter the second week of January, I wonder: how are you doing so far with your resolutions? Have they fallen by the wayside? Are you feeling overwhelmed by the promises you made?
If you find yourself failing to conquer the grand feats you delineated for 2012, take a deep breath and regroup. No good will come from beating yourself up over unmet resolutions. If anything, such an attitude will negatively influence the year ahead. It is not easy to make positive changes in your life but if you continue to work towards your goals, no matter how incremental your progress, you will succeed.
I avoid latent procrastination by quickly assessing an overview of my day, identifying where I am headed and what I want to accomplish. I then break it down to smaller manageable tasks. Yesterday morning I walked into my office, planned my day at a glance and then sprang into action:
I quickly sorted through the papers on my desk and filed them away into bankers’ boxes;
I weeded through my emails, deleting all junk so that the number of emails I actually have to action seems less intimidating;
I checked in with five clients via text messages;
I monitored my social media accounts and shared content I felt would be of value to readers;
I reviewed market sites to identify good matches for clients and hopefully discover an opportunity to flip a property;
In the middle of all this, I took a break to complete a twenty minute workout;
At the end of the day I headed home for dinner and quality time with my family.
Each of these concrete tasks was completed, contributing to part of my larger goals: organization; open communication with clients; effective social media messaging; thorough understanding and awareness of the real estate market; health and active lifestyle; quality time with family. Not bad for a day’s work!
Instead of being drawn into inactivity, break down your day – even if you don’t feel like doing it. Suck it up! By the time you have mind enough to complain you will be half way through the task and will have gained enough momentum to continue. By avoiding a task, you actually spend more time and mental energy worrying about it than you would if you were working on getting it done. If you are contemplating skipping out on your to-do list altogether, I urge you to reconsider. Even if you achieve a fraction of what you had intended originally, it represents more progress than if you had simply abandoned the task altogether.
Tips for achieving your goals
Write down your goals. Create a vision board if it helps. Each morning as you contemplate the day ahead, glance at the list or the images you have put together to help guide you. Such a daily reminder will help keep you on track and pull you out of the momentary slumps of low motivation;
Understand your motivation. Ask yourself why such an accomplishment is important to you. If you are setting goals to satisfy someone else’s expectations, chances are you will not succeed. Know why your objectives are important to you and ensure that each of your daily activities also fit into the grander plan. Why waste your time on something that is not important to you?
Talk about your goals. Now, I don’t mean harass every person you know about your plans but rather tell one or two people you trust and whose opinion you respect. By sharing your overall goals with someone, you will feel more accountable and work harder to achieve these objectives;
Focus on manageable daily tasks. Try not to paralyze your productivity by constantly grappling with the big picture. Now that you know your long-term goals and understand your motivation, focus on one day at a time. Set reasonable tasks for each day and move each project forward as best as you can;
Be easy on yourself. If you are not as productive one day as you wish you had been, forgive yourself. Tomorrow is a new day for fresh starts and renewed ambition.
Remember, you can only succeed if you do the work. However, do not get overwhelmed by the big picture. Focus on one individual task at a time. If you slowly move each project forward every day, you will have accomplished even more than you bartered for by the end of the year.
Today, everybody is talking about New Year’s resolutions. Each year, I resolve not to set a resolution. And while this may seem like an oxymoron to some, it makes perfect sense to me.
I feel that when you commit to huge lifestyle changes and major habit reform without breaking the task down to specific actions, you are setting yourself up for failure. Instead, I choose to start each day with fresh resolve. I take stock of what I accomplished yesterday, and then decide what I would like to repeat or change today. After my re-evaluation, I set small attainable goals. Don’t get me wrong, I also have medium and long-term goals. However, I try not to let my greater ambitions overwhelm or obscure the present moment.
I keep my daily resolutions manageable, such as: give a particular client or task one hundred percent of my focus; attend a yoga class; leave the office at a reasonable hour; share a meal with my family; or tell my wife and children how much I love them. In order to be successful, I reflect on where I am headed and write it down. I often review this list and gear my daily activities towards these greater objectives. If I focus my attention on smaller tasks, I procrastinate less and therefore become more productive.
Allow me to compare it to real estate. It is better to stay on top of the small-scale improvements so that you do not become overwhelmed by the never-ending responsibility of maintaining a home. I have worked with thousands of people over the years. After an initial free home evaluation, almost all of my clients work hard through the days, evenings and nights to increase the value of their home and prepare it for the market. Once the work is complete, many of them regret not having maintained their home to this standard for their own enjoyment. Remember, it is much easier to tackle tangible tasks each day, whether it be home maintenance or personal improvement.
It is important to contemplate our accomplishments and be motivated to change our behaviours because we are constantly evolving. I challenge myself every single day of the year in hopes of becoming a better agent, husband and father – in short, a better person. I urge you to consider this model of personal and professional growth.
Wishing you and yours health, happiness and prosperity in 2012.
A good Realtor(r) is always working on themselves in order to continuously improve their skills. At most conventions, there are always a few things a good salesperson can bring home to their clients. The more a Realtor(r) invests in themselves, the more they are investing in their clients.
Next time you are looking to buy or sell a home, ask your Realtor(r) what types of things they do to invest in their learning and what types of awards have they received in their industry. This is a great way for you to see how seriously they take their business.
I spent some time in Nashville TN enjoying the Exit Realty International Real Estate Convention when I came across the coolest little museum and my favorite childhood car…the General Lee. What TV show do you remember watching in your home as a child that still evokes fond memories? Let me know.
I am often asked what the best Real Estate investment is. It’s a pretty loaded question. Are you looking for a triplex, a commercial building or a small condo you can rent out to students? Some folks get nervous about rentals so another investment vehicle that is becoming very popular are second mortgages….you become the bank.
Another fun Real Estate investment is flipping homes. Home flips have many moving parts and can be overwhelming, but when you buy a deal, renovate it and make a nice profit, it really feels great.
The key to any investment is examining what your threshold of pain is.
Most financial advisors go through a process to determine your threshold of pain to see what kind of stocks or mutual funds you should be investing in.
When it comes to determining your threshold for Real Estate you should consider the following:
If you are the type that does not like any stress at all, then maybe renters are not a good idea.
If you don’t like surprises and would worry about dealing with contractors, flipping may cause you some pain.
If you are a control freak, 2nd mortgages may not be the way to go.
I like rentals for the residual income and have hired the help of a property manager and have a para-legal that helps me with challenging renters. My flips are taken care of by contractors I trust and have built a relationship with. My favorite investments are 2nd mortgages because I can get 10-12 percent on my money with little to no stress, and my money is secured by Real Estate that I can see and touch.
In the Real Estate industry, people are usually tempted to hire a Real Estate agent that is referred to them by a friend or family member.
Although referrals are the best form of advertising, buying or selling a house can be a very stressful experience, especially if you are working with a Realtor you chose by default.
What I suggest, is asking your friends and family to refer several Real Estate agents. This way you can interview them and choose the right fit. My video will describe the process in more detail.
I’d love to hear how you choose your next Realtor below.
How do you start your day? Do you drag yourself out of bed, wishing for more sleep or do you start your day with a smile and a fresh outlook? Are you taking control of your day or is it taking control of you? Changing your energy and outlook could be just what you need to be fully In The Game. Please watch this video.
If you’ve ever watched kids playing baseball you know how truly joyful the game really is. They may be nervous and shy at first, but soon they are chomping at the bit to get out on the field and “play ball”! The game is about having a good time, playing with others and keeping your eye on the ball. Our careers should be looked at the same way. If we all did this, maybe we’d be as happy as kids! Please click below to watch the video.
To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth. Pearl S. Buck.
Recently the earthquake in Japan rocked Asia and the world. Unfortunately my two Brothers Maynard and Blaise were in Sendai Japan when it happened. Thankfully they are safe and healthy. What was very interesting was that they sent me a Tweet a few minutes after it happened. I was able to relay to the rest of my family how they were doing. At 9 AM that same day, I emailed a broadcaster friend of mine, Mark Sutcliff, both of my brother’s twitter handles and told him to follow them as they were giving up to date news with pictures as to what was going on. Within minutes, he started reading their tweets on the air and within hours, CBC, CNN, the local newspaper were calling my parents home for more information. As I listened to the news I realized that I already knew most of what was going on in Japan because of my brother’s tweets and emails. I finally discovered how powerful social media truly is. I am not sure if Twitter helped save lives, but I know for sure it helped my family rest easy knowing that my brothers were safe.
More and more we are being made aware of the presence of bullying and its negative effects on the victims, as well as (some would argue) on the bully. Schools are hosting information sessions for students and parents, while constant coverage in the media brings the prevalence of the problem to the forefront of our minds.
As we enter the second week of January, I wonder: how are you doing so far with your 
